


Man in the Mirror

by MystieMerry



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 19:27:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16646267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MystieMerry/pseuds/MystieMerry
Summary: November 2, 1983, the night Dean lost his mother and his little brother. Dean watched the yellow-eyed demon take his brother that night, and he's been searching for him ever since, long after John gave up hope. With John on his own, Bobby is the only friend he has. When Bobby finds a lead that takes Dean back to Lawrence, Kansas, he hopes he may have found what he's been looking for over the past 25 years, but what he finds might not be what he expects.





	Man in the Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> Set around Season 4, a hypothetical situation if Dean hadn't had Sam to lean on all this time. Will add tags as new chapters are posted. It's my first published work, so please comment, any constructive criticism is more than welcome!

Dean woke to the dingy light coming through the grimy motel window. He rubbed his forehead, uselessly trying to wear away the hangover that threatened his balance as he got to his feet.

He walked to the bathroom and turned on the cold water, soaking his face then running his wet fingers through his hair and over his neck. He lifted his face and looked at himself in the dirty mirror. His emerald green eyes were bloodshot and hooded, heavy bags beneath them making them look sunken. He had a couple of days worth of stubble on his face, which he absentmindedly swiped over with his right hand. He sighed. He wished he could remember days when he didn't dread looking at his reflection, when the thought of himself didn't make him cringe in disgust, but he never could. He wasn't sure if the alcohol had wiped his happier memories or if he even had happy memories since his brother had been taken. He remembered the fire, the screams of his mother as the flames engulfed her where she was trapped on the ceiling. He remembered hearing Sam crying and his father trying to run into the nursery to save them, but the roof collapsed and exploded into flames, blocking the door. He remembered the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he caught a glimpse of a man in the room, a man with yellow eyes, picking up his six month old brother and smiling cruelly before disappearing in the smoke.

The sound of his phone ringing in the other room jolted him from his thoughts. He jumped at the noise but moved quickly to answer, remaining wary of whomever it was calling.

"This is Dean."

"Dean. Good to hear your voice, kid."

Dean relaxed at the familiar voice. "Heya Bobby."

"I heard about that demon thing up in Ohio. Nice work, boy."

"Thanks. Got anything new for me?"

He heard papers rustling around on the other end.

"I got a report put together of a whole mess of demonic omens coming from Lawrence, Kansas."

Dean tensed when he heard the location. "Any specific area?"

Bobby sighed. "You're probably not gonna like this, but it looks like everything's centered around the graveyard where your mom's ashes were interred and Sam's headstone is. I don't know what it means, but I'm just passing on the facts. Sounded like something right up your alley, so I thought I'd pass it along before any other hunter had the chance to snag it."

Dean nodded, even though he knew the older hunter couldn't see him. "Thanks Bobby. I'll look into it. What specifically are we talking about?"

"Well, the usual, I guess. Cow mutilations, freak electrical storms, mysterious deaths, you name it, we got it."

"Wait, wait, hang on, you said mysterious deaths. Mysterious how?"

"About five workers at a construction site near the graveyard were found with their insides liquefied and their eyes burnt out of their heads."

"What the hell? And you're sure it's demons?"

"I figured what else could it be, with all the omens? I figured some powerful demon showed up and had a little fun."

"I'm taking your word for it, Bobby, but it's not like any demon attack I've ever heard of." He hesitated for a moment. "Hey, um, Bobby? I'm thinking I'm gonna need a little backup on this one. I'm about three days out. You think we could meet up?"

"I figured as much. Already packed my crap. I'll see you there, boy. And be careful. I don't want you getting turned to slush before I even get there, ya idjit."

"Yeah. See you there."

Dean hung up his phone and tossed it on the bed. He heaved a heavy sigh and laced his fingers together behind his head. He'd made a silent vow never to go back there. He'd been made to go to his mother's grave on November 2nd every year till he was 22, his dad constantly searching for Sam, never giving up hope, until one day, he did. Sam would've been 18, and all of a sudden, John Winchester stopped looking for his lost son and made peace with the fact that Sam was dead, a fact that Dean refused to acknowledge. The last time Dean had stepped foot in that graveyard was the day his father had ordered a headstone made for Sam. It was the first time he'd seen his father cry. Every time before that, John had been a mask of stoicism, not letting go of his emotions as he laid a yellow sunflower on Mary's grave. But once he decided his son was dead, he fell to he knees and wept over the headstone. Dean remembered not knowing what to do or say to his father, and of course he felt sorry for him, but he also felt an unmistakable feeling of disgust rise in his throat. Disgust that his father would abandon all hope for Sam, that he'd let himself break down and become weak. Disgust that John Winchester had given up. He'd sworn then and there that he'd never go back to that graveyard unless he was the one getting buried there. 

He was never able to look at John the same way after that. After that day, his father had become reckless, unconcerned about the safety of his remaining son. He'd taken to drinking more, consequences be damned. It was then that Dean had learned his father was a mean drunk. After every hunt, John would disappear into the nearest bar, only to come out a few hours later staggering drunk and raging about how Sam would've been a better son, more loyal, more responsible. Dean always agreed with him, putting on a strong face and passively taking the blows his father dealt out without a word of complaint. The last time he'd seen Bobby was when John went solo on a hunt in the area and Dean was staying there. Sometime during the course of his stay, the older hunter had noticed some bruises on Dean's back that showed when his shirt rode up when he stretched. Bobby made him take off his shirt so he could get a better look and was horrified by what he saw. Dean remembered the patchwork of new and fading bruises he'd been at the time, remembered the scars his father had left when he'd been to drunk to care and took a belt to his oldest son after a botched job. Dean had tried to brush it off as injuries from an old case, but Bobby was having none of it. When John got back from his successful hunt, Bobby confronted him. Dean had remained silent the whole time, not lifting his eyes from the floor. It took a while, and a few punches were thrown, but eventually John had been made to see reason. He saw what he'd done to his only son and hated himself even more. 

The next day, he'd hotwired a truck in Bobby's lot and left before the sun was up. Dean didn't hear from him again until he'd gotten a call that his father had been badly hurt and was in the hospital. He had tried to get there as fast as he could, but he missed a stop light and was t-boned by a semi and sent to the same hospital himself. John hated himself for what had happened, seeing his son, his only family, hooked up to so many machines and knowing that they were the only things keeping him alive. He knew nothing he did could make up for how he'd hurt Dean in the past, but he knew he had to do what he could to at least try to set things right. He made a deal with a demon, the very demon who'd plagued his dreams since he'd lost Sam and Mary in the fire all those years ago. He'd saved his son's life at the cost of his own soul. When Dean was released from the hospital, he gave John Winchester the hunter's funeral he would've wanted. It was then that Dean decided to pick up where his father left off and kill the demon that had destroyed his family. The last two years had been a living Hell for him, tracking demons across the country, only to find them dead ends on his original trail, and drinking enough to give his father a run for his money.

But that graveyard in Lawrence brought back too many painful memories and opened too many old wounds, and Dean dreaded going back there, but if this was what he'd been hunting his entire life, the end of everything, he'd go back without a moment's hesitation. So Dean packed his things, threw them in the back of the Impala and started out toward what he hoped was the end of the story he'd been writing in blood and salt lines across the country.


End file.
